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<title>To live darkly in my body by asuralucier</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25840471">To live darkly in my body</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/asuralucier/pseuds/asuralucier'>asuralucier</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Death Note (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, F/M, Not Lovey Dovey Types, Soulmate AU, Tattoo Lasering, Worldbuilding, Wounds and Scars, violent imagery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:28:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25840471</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/asuralucier/pseuds/asuralucier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mello’s real name was written on the inside of Halle’s thigh, very near her cunt. It was a good thing she wasn’t a stripper.</p><p>(A little snapshot of that AU where your soulmate wears your name and vice versa. In a world where Kira is determined to cleanse the world of all wrongdoing one name at a time, Mello and Halle make do.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Halle Lidner | Halle Bullock/Mello | Mihael Keehl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Rare Pairs Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>To live darkly in my body</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/noun/gifts">noun</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Many thanks to my beta ictus, as ever!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mello’s real name was written on the inside of Halle’s thigh, very near her cunt. It was a good thing she wasn’t a stripper. He sometimes looked at it, to remind himself what it was. The last time he had cause to look at it, the colors on some of the letters were not as he remembered, the skin around his name was hypopigmented and slightly reddish pink. His name was fainter now, than he remembered.</p><p>But it was still there, and so was he. Not that he meant to die. It wasn't his fault some fucker came at him with a knife. Mello was good at winding people up. </p><p>Mello wondered, gritting his teeth, if it’d stay that way forever. If so, too bad, Halle had nice skin, but she didn’t care about that sort of thing, and he usually had better things to tell her than that. Halle was a practical person and didn’t like to be told what she already knew. </p><p>Names didn’t always appear where you’d expect them to. Just like the names themselves, where they appeared made little sense. The only thing that held with any certainty was that someone else’s name, sometimes someone you knew, more often someone you didn’t, given how big the world was, would appear on your body when you turned eighteen. Mello was not as lucky as Halle, or maybe it was the other way around, but Mello was lucky enough, that he scarred easily. </p><p>Sometimes you waited a long time. Sometimes the name you’d grown used to waiting for disappeared one day never to return. Sometimes, it was replaced by another name, and the waiting began all over again. </p><p>Nowadays, if a name left your body, you could look up the name on one of several websites, most famously, <span class="u">www.didkirakillmysoulmate.co.jp</span>. Most of those endeavors were getting sued for everything they were worth and kept the tabloids busy. In another life, Mello might have wished them well; it seemed like an idea he could’ve come up with. When he had a moment or two, he’d read a few articles about the most recent proceedings on his phone; usually while his more immediate sources of information were getting their teeth kicked in. Spirit of cooperation. </p><p>Near probably never tracked the tabloids. </p><p>The bright lights of Halle’s bathroom were brighter than Mello remembered, too. The lights were so white as to be blinding and he was so fucking dizzy. His jaw locked in pain, Mello tried to work out whether he was slowly going blind or if the glass walls of Halle’s shower cubicle were just going foggy. </p><p>So fucking dizzy. </p><p>“Hey, you stupid fuck, don’t you dare faint on me.” Halle’s voice, warm and taut like a wire about to cut somebody’s throat, sounded far away. </p><p>Suddenly, Mello was aware of a new spot of pain forming underneath his earlobe. A neat little pinch, as if Halle had bitten him there. From time to time, she liked to show him her teeth. </p><p>Mello hissed and then inhaled just as sharply. “Ain’t gonna. That fucking hurts, you know.” </p><p>Halle didn’t look impressed. “Says you, with a hole practically through your chest.” </p><p>“You ought to thank me,” Mello sneered, “I’m banking...that it won’t heal up right. Anyday now, Kira might try it on Halle Bulhook or some shit. Surprise, motherfucker.” </p><p>That made her laugh. Her face was still very near his and Mello liked it despite himself, the redness of her smile. Cherry blood red. He leaned in for a kiss and she bit his tongue. Halle did always know how to keep him on his toes.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> __</p>
</div>Halle wore a see-through nightgown and Mello could still see it, the splotch of pale skin that had his name on it. He wondered how long it would take for the color to come back, and thought about asking only to decide against it. They sat together on the couch and tried to watch TV. Something else that was getting sued: <i>Kira Roulette</i>. So far, only a few casualties, but that was apparently the appeal. Previously, <i>Kira Roulette</i> had been named something else and had been a popular dating show. Misa Amane was slated to appear one season and didn’t, for undisclosed reasons.<p>Halle said, “All right, I went to a tattoo place. As an experiment.”</p><p>“Did it work?” </p><p>Halle shrugged. “I got a new tattoo instead.” </p><p>Mello looked at her slightly sideways. “Who else saw you?” </p><p>“Nobody,” Halle said. “Halle Bulhook held up the place. Thanks to you, she doesn’t exist.” </p><p>“Should you be doing that?” </p><p>“I’ve been around longer than you have.” Halle patted his shoulder. That was, more or less, her version of ‘I love you.’ </p><p>Mello switched tack. “All right, then. Where’s your new tattoo?” It was easier to ask where rather than who. He didn’t mention that he’d probably find it sooner or later. Something else that she didn’t need telling. But maybe a tattoo was good, given Halle Bullock’s most current assignment. Near might not pay attention to that sort of thing, but SPK was full of people always watching. Maybe it would surprise them or divert their attention, that Halle Lidner would give in to a fad. </p><p>She flinched away as Mello tried to touch the inside of her thigh. Then Halle stood, too quickly for him to catch up. </p><p>Mello switched off the TV and watched her instead. Halle disappeared into her bedroom and returned with a thumb drive, placed it on the table like it was some kind of a Holy fucking Grail.</p><p>Maybe it was. Mello hated to admit it.</p><p>“Anyway, that’s for you. Consider it a gift from the SPK. It doesn’t leave this apartment. I’ll need it back by morning.” (Halle always used the name of her division. It made things easier to swallow rather than the name of her boss.) </p><p>Mello kept his eyes on the blank TV screen, so that he could keep one eye on Halle at the same time. Sometimes she felt chatty about this or that theory. Other times, she let him draw his own conclusions and left him alone. Mello said, “Yeah, I got that.” </p><p>He waited until she went into her bedroom again before reaching for the thumb drive. It looked ordinary. But so did a Death Note. </p><p>It took a bit of doing, but Mello went to get himself some of the fancy chocolate he knew Halle kept in the fridge. His newly closed up chest wound stabbed him as he walked. Halle was not the most careful person, but that was fine. </p><p>Mello felt more alive that way.</p>
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